Anticipation

I was all over Nadi today as I closed up some loose ends. There is a flurry of things you need to do when you are unsure of the end date of your stay. One conversation that came out of that was with the pastor at the Dream centre. When I told him that I would most likely be leaving early, he smiled at me and asked if it was homesickness. That raised an interesting point in all of this. I’ve never missed anything back home to the point where it would be the reason for my leaving to go home.

Sure, I’ve had my fair share of missing particular things (milk, hot showers, feeling clean, my car) but none of those things have inhibited my ministry here by being overwhelming in their nature. I have been able to focus on the events and the people that I met while I’ve been here. For that much, I have been thankful.

Now, the anticipation builds. The rush of being back on home soil, of seeing family, Carys, hot showers, homemade food, and the feeling of security. These things I all look forward to, with great anticipation for my arrival at home.

It’s a neat feeling.

This morning, however, I had a chance to speak one last time to the Nadi Airport School for Easter. I took them through a very unorthodox story referring to Jesus taking our place, and ended it with talking about how there is only one way to heaven. So many of those kids are growing up in a Hindu home, and will ultimately end up believing in many gods, hopefully God can water some of these seeds to see it through.

When the Week Comes to an End

Fridays are always an interesting day. Have you ever noticed how setting a tone will change the entire atmosphere for the day? Every Friday I have the priveledge to go down to the Nadi Airport school and teach scripture there. As will all children, these kids are fun and receptive to the gospel, and presenting it in a fun, dramatic way just makes it all that more exciting. I love those kids, because they are a shining light for me while I’m here in Fiji.

Sure, my voice is hoarse, and my legs are sore by the time I leave the school. But I had fun. It’s not often that I get to say that as of late, and so I treasure those moments. Who knows, perhaps God is using that to plant seeds for much later on in their lives.

Fridays are always the day I know that I will be busy. After Scripture in School, I either get on a bus and head to Suva, or I will be staying in the Nadi area. One way or another, I know that in the evening I have youth that I need to attend. It’s a bit of a mixed bag, because there is so much I want to teach, just not to the kids. While Lami and Lautoka are well taken care of, the leaders here in Nadi haven’t had the resources or examples to them to show see how a youth group could be run. It’s disappointing, but I have to realize that it is also in God’s hands. Maybe time will smooth things out.

And now it is Friday evening. Time to go to bed. It’s raining outside, which means we won’t be going up to camp tomorrow (although that has yet to be confirmed!). I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t excited about that. I will be running into town tomorrow to exchange my Sulu for a little bigger one that fits me properly, and pick up some sandals. I’m actually looking forward to it.

Being busy is never a curse. It just means that God has places for you to go, and things to do. Being bored is never a curse, because it means you have time to meditate, and time to pray. These things, each of them, are blessings in their own right. Seeing them as such is often the hardest part.

It’s All in the Perspective

Great challenge is great opportunity. It is not insurmountable. It is not overwhelming. It is a mountain, to be climbed one slow step at a time. A battle of the will and the mind. How you choose to look at it is completely your choice. I can guarantee that God is viewing it as an opportunity, so are you choosing to look at it from God’s view? And if you’re not, whose view do you think your viewing?

It is Friday, which means that I started the day teaching scripture in school. From 9:15 to noon, I go through five different classes, teaching them about the Bible and about God. What a unique opportunity to boldly share the gospel to children that largely consist of Muslims and Hindu’s. This morning, we discusses Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. How they choose to go against the crowd and follow God’s command rather than breaking it, knowing that it could cost them their lives. Such a powerful story, and very interesting for young minds, I know this because it fascinates me!

Tonight, I went to the Lautoka church to lead youth. Wow... what an experience. It is so awesome to see people who are authentic about their welcoming spirit and open to what God has to do in their lives. The spirit over the church just blows my mind, because it is friendly and light... it is free. I haven’t experienced that in a church while I’ve been here yet, but Lami was very very close.

After I gave my devotion (on salt and light), we went outside and played a game of volleyball. That and Rugby are the main games that are played in the schoolyards down here, but soccer is close behind. It was a friendly game with loose rules and more laughter than I’ve experienced in a long time. Amazing what a group of teenagers that are out to have fun can do to you... reminds me why I used to go to youth. It’s fun.

But it’s all in the perspective. I’m really struggling at having a good attitude while I’m here. Not because of the Fijian people. I’m struggling because of the input that I’m receiving from those who have been here much longer. I search, I strive to see the good, and I’m really having a hard go at it. I’m praying constantly that God would give me a good attitude, that He would keep my heart open and searching, and I continue to fight with it. I fight with it because it seems like from certain perspectives there is nothing good about this country or these people. Everything is a struggle. Everything used to go better ‘back when....’ Everything is questioned, nothing is trusted. Nothing will work. And it goes on... and on and on... it’s exhausting! It’s frustrating! And I’m wrestling with all my might to help on desperately to a positive attitude.

Ken and I drove to Lautoka and back together. On the way there, I interjected into his conversation (I wasn’t participating too much), and asked him what he loved about this country. I am striving for that one ray of sunshine amidst the clouds. “Nothing in particular.” Nothing in particular!? I don’t know if I could be in missions for 30+ years in a country that I love nothing in particular about. There are SO many redeeming qualities of the Fijian people. They are welcoming, friendly, loving, open, caring people. They are simple minded, but they have so much untapped potential. But I feel after being dropped off like someone has tethered their expectations to the ground.

I am constantly told that the Fijian people are unlike any other people group I’ve met. Yet everything I hear... they are struggling with drugs, alcohol, immorality, and those that know the Bible don’t apply it to their lives... keeps bringing me back to the thought that they sound a lot like people back home. I’m sure there are MANY things I don’t even see at this point, but is ministry really so complicated? Is it not as simple as spreading God’s word and love? Why do we have to make it more than that? Why do we doubt when we should push forward? Why do we call what appears to me as scepticism as ‘wisdom’ that is gained with age?

I know I’m young. I know that makes me passionate. I know that makes me foolhardy and hasty. But aren’t the young supposed to balance the old? Don’t we have something to offer too?

I guess it’s all in the perspective.

Bring a Boat

I was starting to wonder if Fiji really was a tropical country! ;) I’ve been here for two weeks tomorrow, and while there were short bursts of hard rain, there was nothing really what I would put into the ‘epic’ category. Have no fear, today fixed that for me! It started raining about 10 AM in the morning, and proceeded to turn on and off like a tap every 30 minutes for the rest of the day. Take into account this is rain like the pictures, with HUGE drops of water. By the night time, you just didn’t wear shoes outside if you were smart, because your feet and probably your ankles were going to be underwater.

This morning I went to the Nadi Airport School to teach scripture. It’s reminiscent of being back in Three Hills, but these kids are even better behaved; and they know very little about the Bible. I took them through the stories of Ehud and Gideon, and they knew neither of them. Both of the stories led into the fact that God has a plan for us regardless of how left out or weird we may be.

They had their prefect ceremony yesterday morning, so Josepha and I were only able to take 3 classes, but the ceremony was interesting. I’ve never seen a school use the prefect/head boy or girl system before, so it was intriguing to sit through it!

During the afternoon, I finished my sermon outline, went to Jong’s flat and relaxed a little. And then I walked back in pouring rain. It was fun trying to time walking past the puddles with the passing of cars. I was splashed good a few times, but I made it to the bus stop and eventually to McDonalds! Youth was starting in about an hour, and so I needed to eat something quickly. Boy, that sounds like I need to justify myself, lol!

While eating, a Fijian man, Jim, struck up a conversation with me. He was there with two young children, and it turns out he’s an associate minister with the Associated Gospel Churches here, full-time. Naturally, the conversation led to ministry, and some of our backgrounds. At the end of it, he gave me a ride back to the BDC and saved me a 10-15 minute walk through the rain and some REALLY large puddles!

That evening, we had youth. To be honest, I wasn’t so sure that we were even going to have youth, because of the rain, but when I got back, Josepha had taken the van and was out picking up the youth. They arrived about 20 minutes late, but we had a fun time regardless. Just a small number around 6 tonight. I spoke on the need to let God’s word work from the inside out, and some of the different responsibilities that we have in that process. I’m not sure why I was told that the youth here don’t really talk, because they were pretty conversational to me. Actually, they talked more than my first month in Sunday School back in Three Hills. There was the awkward looks, the unfamiliarity with someone actually asking their opinion, but eventually they started to engage with what I was saying. Knowing me, you already know this was very informal, and I made a few jokes about the massive pulpit that sat in front of the benches. Perhaps there is some hope for the kids... I wouldn’t have known it from what I was told.

The End of a Season

It's official: I'm in my last week here at Bethel. I've spent more than a year at this church in ministry, 8 months of that in an internship, and 6 as the children's pastor. Just now am I beginning to feel like I'm fitting in. Funny how now is also the time that I'm being called elsewhere.

There has been many things that I've learned along the way, but the first is that you should never, ever burn bridges. I have had many people tell me in the past that it doesn't matter what happened, what was said -- never use those last days to burn what may be left... instead use them to reinforce them! While there's no danger of me wanting to burn bridges here, I can't support that statement enough. When you leave, always go for allies, rather than leaving enemies.

The second is that it is better to focus on a few things and do them well than to try to do everyone and do none of it well. I had many ideas of what I wanted to do over the past six months, but God always kept the priority in focus: the River. That children's church was one of the main reasons I was hired to stay on, and I was given the opportunity to see it cemented and moored in for the long-haul. As I was talking with one of my leaders yesterday, she said how encouraging it has been for her to see the maturity begin to grow in these kids. I couldn't agree more! We have kids that are authentically interacting with their faith, and the fruits are beginning to show.

The last thing I'll write about is that ministry is never easy. There are many unexpected challenges and attacks that come your way. Things you never would have expected are thrown at you almost daily. The important thing is that you remember who you're doing it for, and why you got into it in the first place. Changing lives is more important than your pride. It's more important than being right. It's more important than looking good. Changing lives is paramount, and there will be knocks along the way that will make you want to turn from the course... but hold steady, God will give you the tail winds to drive you through.

14 months, and it's been an excellent experience. Tough times, good times all sum up into a worthwhile experience that gives me a better perspective moving forward into my own independant ministry. Now I look forward to Fiji!

Asking Questions

Why is it that we have become so afraid of asking the hard questions? I read through the Bible, and it is filled with our spiritual forefathers digging deep into the meaning of God and asking the hard questions. It seems we have a Pharasitic view of people who stop to ask the hard questions, and encourage other people to do the exact same.

I would challenge this view, however, and instead say Jesus was the one who encouraged the Disciples to ask the hard questions of God to discover their faith and grow. Job himself stopped when God allowed everything to be taken away and cried out against God to ask Him the hardest question of all: why?

But there is a chasm between the attitude of the Pharisee's questioning Jesus to the Disciples. One is approaching God with a sense of arrogance, and one is approaching from the realization that we are nothing. Both ask, but their hearts are worlds apart.

We need to be encouraging our young people to ask the hard questions, because God is faithful in hearing our prayers and answering them. This is what will solidify their faith deep into their souls, and create a generation that will rise up and be strong advocates for God. But we also need to teach them the reverance of God that my age-group has so neglected... they are talking with a living... active God. He needs to be approached cautiously!

He is not a tame lion.

Winding Down

One of the best parts of ministry, at least in my opinion, is watching something you've started take a life of it's own (in the angel kind of way, not in the Frankenstein kind of way!) and carry on without you. People take up the vision, they pick up the purpose, and they consider it their own! And suddenly, something you had to put up onto it's feet is running without you! This must be what it is like to be a parent.

Ministry experiences are a great thing. The process in between can be extremely frustrating... but somehow the result is always worth the pain.

Welcome to Culture

The message I gave a few weeks ago focussed on many of the misconceptions our children are growing up with. They share the same role models as secular children and youth, and subsequently, they are thinking the exact same way. This becomes a huge issue when you think about the consequences... truth is no longer foundational, it is situational.

Here's a good example, as I was poking around MSNBC, this stunning quote came up:

Beyoncé Knowles says that one of the most important people in her life was her late uncle, who was gay. “I was raised by my uncle who passed away with AIDS a couple of years ago,” the “Dreamgirls” star said, according to WENN. “He was my mother’s best friend. He brought me to school every day. He helped me buy my prom dress. He made my clothes with my mother. He was like my nanny. He was my favorite person in the whole world.” Knowles says that her affection for her uncle didn’t conflict with her deep religious views: “I never mixed Christianity with how I felt (about him). I am about faith and spirituality more so than religion. Doing right by others and not judging.”

Now, don't get me wrong, there is definitely a point where we need to look at the person, and not the sin that they are living in. But does that make black and whiter? When you think about the consequences of that statement, it suddenly becomes clear why Christians look no different than the secular world. One of the most famous 'Christians' in the music business has given up the definite word of the Bible, to instead say, "It's ok. As long as they are a nice person, who am I to say what they are doing is wrong?" It's a scary world.

The Woes

Preaching can be one of the hardest things you will ever do. You are asked to pour your heart and soul into a message, put in countless hours of study and preparation, and put it out into the public forum in the course of 20 to 30 minutes. It can be one of those things that will either rip you to shreds, or help you build for the next time.

I posted a bit of detail this past week about the message that I was preparing. Truly, it is definitely what is on my heart. We are in danger of losing the next generation, my generation. There are people out there who are seeking nothing but their destruction, and the constant plummet into relativism, and the misunderstanding of the foundations of the Christian journey are leading down a dangerous road.

It was one of those messages that I poured myself into. I read, and I studied, and I spent a lot of time crafting my words so that they would come out properly. It was my heart, like telling someone about how much I love Jordan, or talking about my family. To throw this out would be a slap in my face.

God is good. He takes our words, no matter how frail they might be and makes them strong. He translates our inadequate language into one that reaches into people's hearts. If you are afraid to speak out, lean on Him. If you are scared to share your heart, draw from Him. If you don't know the words, let Him speak through you. God is faithful.

Three Tiers of Influence

In our modern day culture, we are competing for the minds of our youth and children. They are being bombarded every single day with stimuli from every direction. Media Moguls are clamouring for the minds and hearts of the next generation. The scary thing? They're winning.

The diagram above shows a basic breakdown of what influences our children's lives the most. The first, and most influential tier consists of contemporary culture, movies, media, and thankfully parents. These are the main contributors that will stick with a child throughout their developmental years and shape them.

Immediately, it becomes clear that we need to be carefully regulating what our children take into their minds. It will eventually come out, and it's up to us to determine if it's sludge, or pure, spring water.

The Secondary level consists of peers, school, radio and mentors. These are the external sources that will guide them, but ultimately only influence, not shape them. People who spend a majority of their time with them only have an effect! Parents, your job is crucial!

Perhaps the most sobering part of this pyramid however, is the place church takes in their lives. We as a community play third fiddle to all of the other sources. Considering they barely spend more than a few hours a week in church, it's not so surprising, but it makes it important to form long-lasting relationships with the children and youth, so that we can go beyond the walls of a building, and bring the church into their lives.

Fight For The Next Generation

I am preaching on Sunday. I am scared to preach on Sunday. The topic I am covering is children and youth culture. Essentially, I am borrowing from such books as Battle Cry For a Generation and The Last Christian Generation to lay out the facts about those who are younger than me. Predictions are saying that if nothing is done, only 4% of this generation will hold core Christian values.

4 Percent. That's a staggering figure when you think that the current generation is somewhere around 35 percent. The average age for a child to first be exposed to pornography on the internet is 11. The largest consumers of internet pornography are between the ages of 12-17. Clearly, there is something wrong.

But preaching a message like this is never easy. You are asking... no, demanding action. This is not a message you merely walk away from and talk casually over dinner about, it is one that you either lay out the cards, or turn your back to completely ignore it. I'm hoping the congregation will choose the former. To get involved in financial, tangible, and spiritual ways to reclaim a generation that is being assaulted on all sides by Satan.

Take the stand.

Know Your Passion

If there is one thing these past few months have told me, it's that knowing your passion can make a huge difference. Often times when you go to a volunteer conference, they will talk about putting a square peg into a circle hole. It might cover some of the things you need to cover, but it's not going to fit properly. This inevitably leads to that volunteer becoming worn out and disillusioned towards Christian ministry.

I'm feeling that way right now. I love working with kids, and I am very proud of my volunteers and the program that we've worked so hard to set up. However, at the end of the day, it's really taught me that children's ministry is just not where I'm cut out to be right now. Perhaps one day, maybe when I have my own kids, I'll be passionate about the elementary age group; but right now, I only see the importance of it, not feel the need to jump into the fray myself.

I'm going to spend tonight at a friends place, then reading my Bible and studying for an exam tomorrow. I'm really hoping I'll find that refreshing rain, and discover a source of hope and energy for the next two months.

The Importance of the Body

I always took it for granted, and I didn't even know that I was doing it. Sitting in a church service is one of the most treasured things I could do right now, and I don't even have the chance to do it. It's both discouraging and infuriating at the same time. I want to just sit and enjoy a good sermon, to just be a part of the masses and enjoy what message God has to say that day.

It's been over two months since I've been able to sit through a service, and it's really begun to wear on me. I miss that community, that feeling of worshipping with others around me, and getting down into the meat of a message. To think through the words that are being spoken to me, I miss it.

If you are ever a part of a church board, my encouragement to you is this. Give your pastors one week a month off to go somewhere else to worship. It will do them a world of good, and it will revitalize the way they look at church. Everyone will be better off because of it.

There's No Breaks

Never think that when you go into ministry, you're working a 9-5 job. You are finished at the end of the day, and you can go home, kick up your feet and relax. It's not a realistic view. In my short experience, most of your nights are going to be busy, most of your days are going to be busy, and if you don't set firm boundaries, you'll never have free time for yourself.

Tonight is Friday Night, you'd think I'd be ready for a bit of a breather. Spend some time at a friends house, relax, and recoup a little before Sunday hits me like a train. That would be the sensible thing to do. Instead, I find myself heading with the rest of the youth leaders into Calgary to go to a training seminar.

Don't get me wrong. I'm looking forward to going in, and it will be an informative look into current youth culture, and revitalize some of my views and vigour towards ministry. But at the same time, I'm tired, I'm worn out. This past week has been going at one speed: overdrive. Now I need to keep on trucking, and I'll be looking to Monday again before I can really find a break.

What does this teach me? I'm glad God called me to this. It's not an easy thing, emotionally and spiritually, you had better have worked up to the job, because Satan is going to hit you hard with everything he has. Reading through Leviticus has taught me that to those God gives much responsibility, He expects that much more.

Stand tall, but never in your own power. Hold your head up, but only in pride of who fights for you. Walk confidently, but only because someone has made the ground level, and sets your feet straight. Boast loudly, but only of the things He has done for you. Fight passionately, but only for the things that are right, and just. Love without abandon, for all those around you. Sound the battlecry, rally the troops, and lead them into battle, knowing you have a general who has seen the outcome.

Meetings can be Fun!

Last night, I gathered here with 4 other of my children's leaders with the goal of hammering out some long-term plans for the children's ministry. We laughed, we joked, we prodded, and had ... strangely enough ... a lot of fun doing it. Shocker -- I had fun at a meeting!

We really dug down deep into the River to figure out what we are aiming for with the whole program. The current format, music, small groups were things that we combed over very carefully. There were disagreements, differences of opinion, and a mutual respect of everyone to find something that works for the kids and for the goals we are going for. That speaks volumes to me of how the church is supposed to work.

At the end of the day, I feel we are better of because of the conversations, and I'm looking forward to seeing the project take wings and fly without my direct involvement. But as with any program, it is important to see that people do not burn themselves out.

It's a exciting time!

Kids Floor Hockey

Have you ever noticed... you say floor hockey, and all the boys will show up? We've been running a youth/adult floor hockey here at Bethel for nearly a year now, and it's been getting bigger and bigger. Unfortunately, in the mix, we had some kids who showed up and tried to keep up with the adults. While it was awesome to have them here, it also meant that the men who wanted to play a little harder stopped coming, because they were afraid of hurting the kids.

Today, I started a floor hockey time for grades 4-6, with some Jr. High's to come out and help. We had 16-18 kids show up, and I just announced it two days ago. It was a fun time, and good to see them coming out to play and run around. I'm definitely mentally worn out, but it's good to see them out to just have fun.

To me, that's what the church is about. Having fun. If we can get people into our churches, then we can show them the love of Christ. Bolstered by people who go OUT to minister... and we have a powerful formula.

The Challenge of Staying Free

If I had one class I wish they had offered in college, it would be, "How to keep your timetable free in ministry." Yesterday, I was busy all day working on Children's related things, and at 4:30 I went to help out with the kids Karate class, then I booked it home quickly to make myself a grilled cheese sandwich, because I was super hungry. As soon as I was done that, I went to Blue Chip Kids, the town-wide kids event, and from there I went to a board meeting.

Time I ate supper: 10 PM.

Tonight, I have a meeting at 7:30, and floor hockey for the afternoon with the kids. If there is one thing that I've learned over the past few months, it's that the biggest enemy of pastors is themselves. While some might argue to say that it is the pressures of the job, or some congregations... ultimately I feel those all fall behind me.

My goal is to stay focussed on God. On what He wants me to do. In this NA culture, it's so easy to get overloaded that I don't have time for God. I don't have time for devotions, it's from one meeting to the next. I spend all my time talking about Him, and not enough time building my relationship with Him. That, in my opinion is what leads to burnout. No time for God, no time for relaxing.

Guard your time very carefully.

Legitimate Children's Ministry... no seriously

So here I was, having an especially productive afternoon, when I decided I needed a list of occupations for one of the games I'll play with the kids if we have the time on Sunday. So I'm perusing through the list when I come across none other than the honourable Chicken-Sexer.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm sure this is a very good job, and there are lots of respectable honest people out there that do this for a living. But can you imagine a group of grade 1-4's running around attempting to act out what a Chicken Sexer does for a living? The thought just makes me chuckle to myself.

There's my thought for the day!

Children Will Wear You Out!

I am always amazed at how many parents keep their sanity when raising a throng of children. Over the past few days, I've spent countless hours with kids ranging from grade 1-6, and I'm utterly exhausted. I don't know if it has something about this particular week, but they have had an over abundance of energy.

I'm just thankful that God always gives me the energy to make it as far as I need. Today, it was through Religious Education. I walked in tired, I walked out tired, but while I was in there, I had energy to give to the kids and to teach with. Amazing how He does that.

I'm hard at work on farther fine-tuning the children's ministry program, and figuring out my place with Blue Chip Kids, the local town-wide children's ministry. I want to help out as much as I can, I'm just unsure of how they want me to plug in, so I'm in some conversations to figure that out.

I'm getting more and more excited about going to Fiji and working there. I'm really praying that God will guide my path and lead me exactly where He wants me, when He wants me there. I'll trust Him in that!

All People'd Out

What a week it has been. It's been really enjoyable, because of the amount of work that I needed to get done, but it also has really worn on me. Spending the 7 hours driving (and counting) that I have, hanging out with friends, loud music, loud children, etc. etc. etc. has really taken a lot out of me.

This morning's children's service went really well, once everything got underway. Thankfully the work that I did during the week paid off in the form of less last-minute prep this morning. The kids were generally really good, but they were all hopped up on some kind of sugar. Take into account that I was up late the night before having a really good conversation, and I was already exhausted from Friday night... it made for an interesting morning.

Then right after church I booted it back up to Edmonton for Thanksgiving with a bunch of people I don't particularly know. Dad and Marlene had a lot of her family over for Thanksgiving dinner, which is awesome... but when you're already emotionally spent it can really take that last little bit out of you.

I'm going to get to bed early tonight, and just sleep as long as my body wants tomorrow. It's one of those things of ministry.