Introspection

Have you ever wished you could have peered into Jesus' head and see what all goes on in there? The day to day thoughts, like what he must have thought when he was hungry, and the group's change purse was running a little low. Did Jesus worry about these little things? Would he have gotten to his knees in true worry about whether he was going to eat, or would it have been in complete and total trust, without even a little bit of worry?

I wonder if Jesus ever stopped to do a little navel gazing. We see at the Garden of Gethsemane that there were torn feelings that were ruled by an overarching sense of trust in the Father, but how often did these moments happen? Did he weep before God about the disciples? About the Pharisees? About himself?

I wonder these things.

Undoubtedly, however, it raises an interesting practice that we so often neglect in our own lives. The practice of introspection. Not the piffly five minutes we spend to say our daily prayers and apologize for any sin that we may have committed, but the honest and true inward looking. Much like the day you finally get sick of your bathroom tub and get down on your hands and knees to clean it. No matter how much cleaner you spray on it, you HAVE to get down there and scrub with everything you've got. Put some elbow grease into it! It's hard work. It's abrasive, and it cleans.

When was the last time you've done that? When was the last time I did that? How often did Jesus do that?

I sat down a few days ago and scrubbed. I scrubbed, and I scrubbed, and I revisited those things that were hidden underneath the soap scum. Surprisingly, it was freeing. But perhaps the surprise only reveals to you how little I have done it. Like standing up and gazing upon a shining porcelain bath tub, there was a sense of accomplishment, a deep sigh was released from within me. Like removing contacts from sore eyes after a long day, I was refreshed.

And God met me. God met Jesus in the garden. God will meet you too.

Start there, and see where He'll take you.