Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Jumping in the Deep End

There's nothing quite like coming back from Vacation. You know that God must have had his hand in the whole thing. I had two perfect weeks where my responsibilities were lowered and I was free to go wherever my heart took me, and it was a great time of refreshing, at just the time when I needed it. Now I'm back, and I'm getting the quick plunge into the deep end.

On Monday, I was here at the church relaxing, because it is my day off, when I got a phone call. It turned out that one of the church elders had been killed in a freak farming accident. It shook me pretty deep. Something that was just so sudden. I went out to the farm later that evening to be with the family and the friends that had gathered there. I've only experienced that kind of environment once before, when my mother passed away.

As I described to Jordan, it's like the house doesn't want to breathe, in case it might disturb anyone. The whole place is just off-kilter. The family is naturally in shock, and people are crying, and people are laughing, and it seems to come and go in waves. I talked to different people from our congregation and just got them talking about their memories, to help the whole process along. I didn't know the family well enough to really get in knee-deep with them, but others were doing that.

While I was in the house, I was fine. My emotions didn't do anything funky, and I felt strangely ok with everything that was going. It was familiar, but it wasn't uncomfortable. When I left, however, things quickly changed. I was driving out of the farmyard when it just all broke loose. The worship song 'Meet With Me' was on my stereo and it just echoed my heart at that moment. I really need to meet with God on a regular basis, and I can't survive without Him. Needless to say, I spent some time crying on my drive back.

So now we're all in the process of preparing for the funeral on Friday afternoon, while life carries on like normal. All the same responsibilites are there, meeting with all the same people, etc etc. I spent more than half my day meeting with people, and I spent the rest of the day getting the simulcasting stuff ready for the funeral so that we can put people in the Gym when the sanctuary fills up. Thanks to our sound guy, everything is ready to go, and it only took us 3 hours.

Pastor Dave is leading the service, and he was set to preach on Sunday as well. But I could tell that it was a little too much for him, so I offered to take the sermon for him. So now I'm preaching on Sunday! Good times. That's what I'll be getting ready for until late in the morning today. Holy Spirit... I could really use your help here!

1 comment:

Lorelei said...

Dad told me what was going on. I'll be praying for you. There's nothing like being close to someone else's grief to bring your own flooding back. xoxoxoxo