Tuesday, March 27, 2007

In the Limelight

Psalm 61:1-8

For the director of music. With stringed instruments. Of David.
Hear my cry, O God;
listen to my prayer.
From the ends of the earth I call to you,
I call as my heart grows faint;
lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
For you have been my refuge,
a strong tower against the foe.
I long to dwell in your tent forever
and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.


For you have heard my vows, O God;
you have given me the heritage of those who fear your name.
Increase the days of the king's life,
his years for many generations.
May he be enthroned in God's presence forever;
appoint your love and faithfulness to protect him.
Then will I ever sing praise to your name
and fulfill my vows day after day.

There are times in my life when David and I get along just great. You know how it is. Things don’t seem to be going your way in the slightest, so you turn to the Psalms to find out how David wrote about the situation. But maybe, like me, you conveniently neglect how David ends his Psalms. No matter what he is going through, he turns to God in worship. That last part is the one that sucks the most.

Do you know why? It takes the focus away from us.

In our pain, we want to be the centre of attention. We want people to look upon us and have sympathy and words of encouragement to comfort us in our time of sorrow. We want our time in the limelight. But as God (and strangely my sister) so likes to remind us... it’s not about me.

I’m not here for me. I’m not even here for you (although I may be here because of you!). I’m here for Him. He sent me here. He wants me here. This hurts like fire, but isn’t that what makes it so special? Gold cannot be refined without fire. Diamonds cannot be formed without intense pressure.

God, I can’t take it anymore. The fire is too much for ME so take this burden from ME. Help ME lift it from my shoulders because I no longer can carry it. I need You and You alone to carry it... and I need to once again learn what that feels like to not carry it myself and depend wholeheartedly on you. There are times now, and times in the future when people will intentionally or unintentionally harm me, and I need to know You in those desperate times. So be here. Fill me. Take me. Destroy ME because I don’t want to exist anymore.

I want to look at You, be with You.

I will ever sing praises to your name. I will fulfill my vows day after day. Take it all.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I also like to retreat to the Psalms when the bottom falls out of my life. You have gone to the source of comfort like David and your straight-up plea for help was heard by your Heavenly Father. Great transparency! Great insight! May God use these dificult experiences to make you more like Him! You are being purified!